Experiences of managing mental health through grief
October 10, 2025
For World Mental Health Day, #WeAreInternational Student Ambassador Lauren Bouvier shares her experiences of managing her mental health through grief as an international student studying in the UK, and offers advice to institutions looking to provide appropriate and adequate support.
What unique challenges do international students face in managing their mental health and accessing support they need?
International students are brave. They are consciously making the decision to uproot their entire livelihood to gain an experience they feel will enrich some aspect of their life. This also means uprooting and moving away from the comfort zones previously established. Usually, moving comfort zones means moving things incrementally and having some backup plans, but for international students, everything sits outside of their comfort zones. It means that micro-comforts are missing from everyday life. The routines change, the cultural shocks occur simultaneously on a Macro and Micro Level.
It means that everyday interactions differ, grocery shopping lacks previous pantry staples, even watching favorite shows changes. The mental load international students take on when starting a new program incorporates all of these changes. And when they do take a moment to call home, there are major time zone differences that have to be accounted for, making social comfort zones smaller than before.
The mental load of learning how to exist as an international student is immense. I struggled with finding communities at first, especially within the post-graduate student context. I am grateful for the friends I made during my MA program, but most of us were international students who were trying to figure everything out, the GP, how to set up bank accounts, different academic expectations, and plenty of other changes. When one of us figured something out, we would share it with the group.
Figure 1. Comfort zone model showing comfort, learning, and panic zones. Source: Adapted from Panicucci (2007). (Van Gelderen, 2023)
When I transitioned into the PhD these social groups shifted as people left to go onto their careers, and I remained at the university. I found my community in my hobbies and part-time work. And when life got difficult, I sought support first within the University. My University provides counseling through the campus, at the time I went, it was 6 sessions. I acknowledge that I benefit from attending a smaller university and did not get stuck in a waitlist for ages. I know peers from larger universities with similar support programs stuck on waitlists to receive the same support.
Mental health is an area of student support that should always continue to be in the conversation. The needs of the students constantly change. International students often feel the tension between relearning their everyday life and routine, and struggle through the “common” experiences as well. It is important that these resources are adequately shared, discussed, and reflected to meet the needs of international students from various cultural positionalities and expectations. Using the #WeAreInternational Student Charter principles of valuing international student perspectives, and monitoring existing support on an ongoing basis, can be a helpful guide into providing adequate and appropriate services.
What is your own experience of managing your mental health as an international student?
When I experienced my grief, I learned quickly that the process I knew from my American point of view, differed from the UK, and also differs across European countries. And when I experienced my grief event, it felt impossible to try and find where to go for support next, as many of the support programs within my regional context only provided support to those who experienced a grief event after a prescribed period of time, and meant joining extensive waitlists as well. Students, especially international, don’t have the time to wait or even the grief community to rely upon. I found I was stuck in this strange liminal space, and had this clock in the background counting down my 60 days of “time off” for the PhD allotted to me for visa purposes. And once those 60 days were over, I had to go back to being a full-time student and functioning, while I still could not meet the accessibility requirements for bereavement support.
I continued to find my own support through programs such as Vocal. Whose ad I actually saw on the side of the bus I took leaving the hospital. Vocal is a charity based in the Lothian region of Scotland that supports unpaid carers. Once I used my allotted sessions, I waited and joined waitlists for bereavement and general mental health support. In May, I started my counseling with Hope Park, a practice center for counsellors in training that is part of the University of Edinburgh.
I also tried to maintain my own mental health by continuing with hobbies that continuously bring me joy. This means prioritizing my hobby, dance, a bit higher than I normally would. It is a hobby that brings me joy, community, and other benefits and I needed to maintain that.
My journey is also supported by the amazing individuals that I have from my home-home, those I have met in the UK and beyond. Though I struggled at times to communicate everything going on, people showed up by helping to feed my cat, help clean the flat, cooking meals, going out for coffee, and sometimes giving space for things to be as close to normal as possible.
After the major grief moments, the work I do with UKCISA is one of the avenues that I use to support myself and others. I share my story with the intention of bringing attention to those who are experiencing extenuating circumstances and trying to navigate systems that aren’t for the faint of heart. My overall goal with UKCISA is to make the process at least 1% better for whomever experiences similar events.
This means contributing and working with The Student Grief Network, talking to Charities such as Student Minds, and sharing my story within Academic Contexts; Hidden Lives of PGRs Conference. Mental health is not a one-size fits all approach. I know that my journey is shaped entirely to me and I hope that by continuing to share and discuss these topics, we can strip away barriers and reflect on how to make meaningful and purposeful dialogues to support all students.
Do you have any advice for universities, colleges or other international students on how to manage their mental health?
When working with international students, it is important to consider the mental load students are taking on. It is great to signpost resources, but asking students to go to various locations for support is taxing when so much of their mental energy is trying to sort out their livelihood. When I was in various counseling settings, it was often recommended to contact other helplines and to reach out to this group or that. It’s a lot. Especially if it means having to re-tell the event/story.
Institutions can support students by providing policy on how to navigate grief/bereavement leave to students. Create a landing page with clear and simple instructions. When someone goes through a grief episode, disseminating information is a massive task. The clearer the language, the better. It is also important to acknowledge that different cultures/religions have very different practices when navigating grief/death. And a space should be provided to help navigate the cultural differences. My partner was Dutch and I was not prepared, at all, for truly how different their practices were and it is something that greatly impacted my journey.
Institutions should also signpost hardship/related funds to support students going through grief or other mental health issues. Often, it means they are taking time off from their jobs, if required, and the financial elements are incredibly stressful. International students cannot claim public funds and are limited in their working hours, leading to an increase of financial stress that parallels the situation.
It is a fine line to walk when institutions support students who experience grief. Especially PGR's. PGR's may have more complicated scenarios due to the precarity of their research, relations/families, and may also be less inclined to utilise university services, as they are often promoted to undergrads. Without understanding the individuality of grief, it can lead to major gaps in supporting students on their individual grief journeys. It is important to not to forget about your post-graduate and PhD students.
For more information on managing your mental health and accessing support as an international student, visit our page on Mental health support in the UK.
Don't miss our other blogs in the series:
- Taking care of your mental health as an international student
- University support services should clearly communicate that helping hands are located across campus
